Do You Believe In Love?
By Shifra DerenDo you believe in love? Do you believe that a warm, caring, tender and ever-deepening relationship between a man and women is desirable? That "happily ever after" would be nice?
Torah does. In fact, it believes that it is within the grasp of average people. It goes further; it says how.
There is a love that is or can be universal. The famous dictum in Leviticus: Love your neighbour as yourself with compassion, generosity, and not being judgmental. We carry within us the capacity of relating to many people on this level. To most of us it is not an automatic reaction, but once achieved, however fleetingly, it is more than its own reward.
There is a deeper love, one so unique and total that it can exist only between two people. "I am to my beloved and he is to me" - the sanctified love of a man and a woman. It is a secret garden of delight, of joy and beauty, of understanding and support, of mutual giving and forgiving. A love which grows from tender buds and blossoms finally in the fulfillment of physical expression. This love is so powerful that it draws the Divine Presence into the marriage.
Every garden must be cared for - it must have water to keep it alive and flourishing. The wellspring of marriage is mikvah - the pure spring-waters which keep this garden fresh and which constantly renew it. For approximately two weeks of the month husband and wife express their love without physical fulfilment. They develop their spiritual communication; they must be more sensitive to each other, talk more and listen more. And during all this time the attraction they have for one another becomes greater and greater. Mikvah - the immersion into the pure, natural waters of a mikvah. It is a means of renewal, of refreshing. For the couple reunited it is their wedding night again.